I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
