I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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