your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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