Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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