I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Let's paint friendship bongs
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
