His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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