dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
