went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
