ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
