I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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