My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
