How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
