The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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