Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize