is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
