I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
