quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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