i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
