I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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