and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
two words: eviction party
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
