it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We just shotgunned beers for America
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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