she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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