i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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