That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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