You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
