I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just cropdusted the office
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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