finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize