Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
