had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
