I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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