I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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