Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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