is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
