dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
