whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
