3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
