I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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