I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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