Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
