i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Its about making memories worth repressing
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
