Will you blow on my dice?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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