that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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