Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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