people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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