I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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