Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize