Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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