You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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