So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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