Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Randomize
