You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize