I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
