I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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