Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
