so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
