I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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