The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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