This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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