She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
