You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
