Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
