I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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