people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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